We’re really bad at recognizing when we’ve done a good job. Like, really bad.
I’m sure you’ve been in a situation where you worked really hard on something and felt pretty good about the quality of your work, but you couldn’t be entirely sure until you were able to get feedback from some other people.
Obviously feedback is necessary for anyone who wants to improve their skills. The problem is that we rely too heavily on other people to tell us that we’ve done something right.
We give other people the authority to determine whether we should keep doing what we’re doing or if we should just give up.
Unfortunately, some people never tell you how you’re doing. They don’t acknowledge your work whatsoever.
Or the worst possible situation happens: you share your hard work with others and they don’t think you did a good job, which naturally makes you feel completely defeated so you start questioning your ability to do anything.
Even if they do end up praising your work, it’s so easy to forget the compliments we receive from others. We continue to question whether we’re good enough because another person’s word is not enough to make us content forever.
Related Post: The Compliments We Should Be Giving
Be proud of your own work
I was inspired to write about this topic because I realized that I rarely take a second to ask if I’m proud of my own work.
You see, I recently redesigned my blog layout, and something wasn’t lining up the way I wanted it to. I was trying to fix it myself, searching everywhere to find a solution, but then I ran out of time and I had to stop working on it. I felt frustrated because I hadn’t solved the problem, and it didn’t look good to me.
(I see now that this was such a trivial frustration, but it’s hard not to realize that in the moment.)
While I was driving home, something clicked. I had a sudden moment of admiration for myself.
This doesn’t happen often, probably because society discourages us from giving ourselves credit since it comes across as cocky or conceited.
Anyway – while I was frustrated over this little dilemma, I took a step back and thought about how far my blog has come since I started it a little over a year ago. What I’ve been able to do in that short time is incredible, especially considering it takes some people years to figure out these things.
I’ve improved my writing, design, and social media skills, and the important thing is that I recognize that, even if no one else does. I just wish it hadn’t taken this long to feel proud of myself.
P.S. If you keep comparing yourself to other bloggers, Allison from paintedsummers.com wrote this epic post about how to quit doing it.
Write down your accomplishments
We’re so inclined to focus on the future and what we’d like to happen days, weeks, months, and years from now, while our successes from the past are pushed further and further back into our memories. It’s even harder if you’re a perfectionist and nothing seems to be going the way you envisioned it.
Of course it’s invaluable to set goals and continually strive to improve your skills, but the parts that come before that determine how you’re going to move forward.
You need to keep track of your accomplishments because no one is going to do it for you.
Start writing them down, even if it’s something as small as figuring out how to change a font color or making the perfect brownies.
There are three reasons why this is going to help you:
- You’ll be able to look back and see where you were a year ago, two years ago, etc. and recognize the progress you’ve made
- You’ll be able to share your successes with others and help them overcome obstacles
- You’ll have a constant boost of confidence when you’re working on something you’re unsure about
And when you’re unsure about something, you need to ask yourself whether it makes you proud. If you’re not proud of it, make it better.
You ultimately need to be the one who tells you that you’ve done a good job.
If you’re proud of it and someone doesn’t like it, it’s easier to see that it’s their problem and not yours. You may need to make some changes, but don’t let one person’s opinion deter you and make you question your abilities. One person may love something, another won’t…it’s inevitable.
Once you realize this, you’ll spend less time trying to please others and more time trying to please yourself.
Today, I want you to reflect on some of the things that you’ve totally been kicking ass at lately.
I want you to take a step backwards and think about what you’ve actually accomplished in the past year, whether it’s gaining a skill, learning something new, or doing something out of your comfort zone.
Do these things right now:
- Ask yourself what you were doing a year ago. Think in terms of work, school, relationships, personal projects.
- Write down what you’ve learned about yourself since then. What have you liked and hated doing?
- Write down any moments you can think of when you felt proud of yourself. What happened to make you feel that way?
- Grab a blank notebook and make it your ‘accomplishments journal’. Write something every single day. Write down when you figure out how to do something, make something, overcome something – anything that makes you go, ‘Yasssss, I did it!‘
- Give yourself a pat on the back because you’ve been working super hard and not giving yourself enough credit. You’re more impressive than you think you are. Take a look at your journal anytime you don’t believe that. P.S. If you’re not proud of something you’re working on, change it so you are.
And lastly, comment down below telling me one thing you’ve accomplished in the past year that you’re proud of!
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