Well, my friends. Something exciting has happened. My boyfriend and I found an apartment and I am picking up the keys today!
You might remember from this post back in April that I was starting to look at apartments because my boyfriend is moving up to Seattle from LA in July (we’ve survived 2 years in a long distance relationship!).
He was offered a job in April and planned to accept the position, but then he threw a curveball and interviewed for another job in a completely different location.
I didn’t want to look for an apartment until we knew exactly where he would be working, so I waited. And I waited.
Let me just tell you, patience is not one of my strengths.
Eventually he decided to stick with the job he was offered in April, and once I knew that, I rushed to find an apartment. I have this problem where I need everything to be figured out right away, and I get anxious if things are in a state of flux.
I kept thinking, What if we can’t find an apartment? What if we can’t afford anywhere? What if the only place we can find is infested with rats?
We all know that we can come up with the worst case scenarios in our heads. But when we worry, is the outcome ever anything close to what we imagined? No.
I think worry and impatience are tied together – when you’re worried about something, you don’t know what the outcome is going to be and you just want it to be over. When you’re impatient, you know what to expect but you just want it to happen already. Either way, you want things to be over (even though we all know you shouldn’t wait for things to be over).
Instead of letting all of the ‘what-ifs’ get me down, I’m starting to accept the fact that I can’t be in control all the time.
When I’m being impatient, anxious, or worrisome, it’s because I feel like I don’t have control over the situation. I couldn’t control how long it took the apartment people to process an application. I can’t control how the whole moving process is going to go. Sure I can prepare ahead of time, but it’s no use trying to plan every little detail.
And even now that we have an apartment to move into, I’m thinking about getting the furniture and all of the bits and pieces we need. Part of me wants it to just happen already, but I know I need to take a step back and slow down (that seems to be a common theme around my posts lately).
Of course, it’s hard not to be excited when you finally get to live with someone you’ve been dating forever, but I don’t want to miss out on everything else that’s happening around me before July rolls around.
I’m going to enjoy the time I have left living with my parents (they’re actually pretty cool), and I will appreciate my 15-minute commute as it will end up taking me 30+ minutes from our new place. I’m going to make a serious effort to just cool it.
3 tips for being more patient
If you’re in a similar position right now where you want to be in control of every little detail but you can’t, give these tips a go:
1. Make a list.
Write down everything that you’re currently worried about or feeling impatient about. A lot of the little things we worry about become bigger in our minds than they really are, and seeing them written down can help put them into perspective. Next to each ‘problem’, write down what you want the solution to be and write whether you have control over it at this moment. If so, do it. If not, try this next tip…
2. Distract yourself.
Take a break, slow down, and tell yourself that you are prepared enough to handle whatever comes your way. Distract yourself for a while and let go. Watch all of Casey Neistat’s videos if you must (that guy is incredible) or binge watch season three of Orange is the New Black ;)
3. Appreciate what you can.
Take a deep breath and ask yourself, ‘What can I appreciate right now?’ You are always in control of that. You can always give yourself that. Take a look around and make a mental note about what you see and how it makes you feel. When you ask yourself what you can appreciate, it once again distracts you from what you’re feeling impatient about. It allows you to focus on something else for a change.
Have you been impatient about something lately? What happened and how did you deal with it?
Photo: Elina Sazonova