On Being Authentic And Sharing Our Lives With The World
I’ve always been a private person. I don’t like to talk about myself or be the center of attention because it makes me super duper uncomfortable.
I am fully aware that I can be a difficult person to get close to because I don’t share much of myself with people I barely know (and let’s be honest, even the people I am close with).
There will always be thoughts, feelings, and past experiences that I don’t share with anyone because I’d rather keep them locked up within me. I’m pretty sure this is my own natural defense mechanism to avoid feeling vulnerable or getting hurt in front of other people.
Sometimes I really, truly wish I was that person who could feel comfortable sharing more of my inner self with the world.
I know there are people out there who have no problem sharing every detail of their life with complete strangers. In a way, I like these kind of people because I feel like I’m close with them without even making an effort to get to know them.
On the other hand, sometimes I simply don’t need to know a detailed account of what happened during every second of your day (like those Instagram stories with 15 or more posts. I can’t, people).
Sharing your life with the world
Lately I’ve been feeling this resistance when it comes to blogging in terms of how much I share with you. Because I spend so much time in my own head thinking things through and figuring out what I feel about things, I often forget that you don’t actually know everything about me.
All you know is what I share through blog posts and social media. Even then, my blog is an edited version of who I am. I share what I want you to see.
Of course when I write, I’m being real with you. I share the advice I’ve learned from the things I’ve struggled with (and continue to struggle with). I edit out a few details here and there, but for the most part, my writing is as real as it needs to be.
Writing is the one way I am able to share myself fully. I can write out my hopes, dreams, fears, and insecurities without feeling scared about sharing them because I know that ultimately other people are going to be able to relate.
Wanting to share more of yourself
Despite this, there’s this part of me that wants to share so much more with you in the moments that they happen. I want to share more of the realness of my life.
Sometimes I feel like I’m writing too many how-to blog posts that don’t give you a glimpse into the person I am behind those tips and tricks, yet I worry that if I start writing blog posts that are more personal or focused more on me than helping you, I’ll seem conceited or full of myself.
I know that we are able to connect more with those who share their vulnerabilities with us. I want to be that person who connects with others easily.
Yet I have so many fears and hesitancy to share what makes me Catherine and not someone else. The Catherine who doesn’t always follow her own advice. The Catherine who is totally indecisive. The Catherine who thinks way too much.
This is pretty much the struggle in my personal life too. I worry that if I start sharing all of my thoughts and feelings with my friends and family, they’ll get bored of listening to me whine. In all reality, I’m judging myself more than they would actually judge me.
Holding ourselves back from being authentic
I always get held back because I think through everything for way too long before I share it. As much as I preach about living in the moment, I am constantly planning out the parts of my life that I’m going to share with others. I’m a perfectionist, and this spontaneity thing doesn’t come easily to me.
I start weighing the pros and cons of sharing my thoughts to the point where it doesn’t even feel authentic anymore.
This is something I might always struggle with. The struggle of feeling comfortable enough to share my fears and feelings as I experience them in order to get closer to other people, whether in real life or through an online community.
Ultimately, I fear sharing my own fears. How counterproductive.
There are times when all I want to do is rant about something, but I talk myself out of it because I want to promote positivity on my blog and in my life. Do you know what I think is more important to promote? Authenticity. Life is never positive 100% of the time, and I would feel like a fraud if I was spreading that message.
My plan to share more of myself
So my question is: How can we be more authentic with everyone we come in contact with?
How much should we filter and edit our lives? Should we be sharing the not-so-great parts? How do we know when to keep quiet?
Maybe the answer is to embrace our authenticity, tell our inner critic to be quiet for a second, and get out of our own heads and just share our damn feelings and opinions for once.
I want to share my true personality and my inner self, so I’m making that one of my goals right now. To let myself be authentic without letting my head get in the way. To stop holding so much in and let it out. To let go of the fear of being judged.
What do you think? What does authenticity mean to you?
Leave a comment letting us know your thoughts!
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