I believe that we all have that little inner voice that tells us what we want to be doing with our lives and who we want to be. Unfortunately, we push this inner voice aside because we start to think things like, “How am I going to make money from this?”, “What will people think of me?” and “What if I fail?”
We constantly hold ourselves back from doing the things we believe would bring true meaning and purpose into our lives because there’s this constant fear that we’re not good enough. Whether it’s around our skills, abilities, personality, or the way we do things on a daily basis, self-doubt is always nagging us in the back of our minds.
As someone who has struggled with self-doubt over the years, I wanted to share some ways that I’ve dealt with it and not let it rule my life. This is an honest, heart-to-heart talk because I truly want you to be able to push through self-doubt and live your life with purpose and fulfillment.
What’s the Deal With Self-Doubt?
Why do we experience self-doubt?
Self-doubt shows up when we want to make a change in our lives. Maybe it’s a better job, different living situation, healthier lifestyle, or new relationship. There’s this feeling within you that there’s more to life than how you’re living right now.
Yet for some reason, you doubt that you deserve to have the life that you’re dreaming of. You doubt that you’ll have the motivation, dedication, emotional stability, or perseverance to actually make it happen. You think of everything that could possibly go wrong instead of what could go right.
Why do we hold ourselves back?
Everybody has a story. Our story is how the past has shaped us to be who we are today. But we also have stories that we make up in our minds.
These stories come from things that have happened in the past. They come from things other people have criticized us for. They also come from assumptions about ourselves and the future. We start to believe that these things are true no matter what.
“The stories we tell ourselves about ourselves determine the quality of the selves we imagine we are.” – Rami M. Shapiro
For example, maybe you gave a presentation one time and it went horribly. You forgot everything that you were trying to say, and you felt totally embarrassed. Maybe somebody else told you you were terrible at giving presentations. Because of one instance, you feel like for the rest of your life you’re never going to be good at giving presentations.
The same might be true if you’ve had moments where you thought you were not beautiful, not smart enough, not a loving partner, or not a good mother. You start to believe these things are going to be true for the rest of your life. We constantly repeat these thoughts in our heads and tell ourselves that we’re not good enough, but it’s all a story.
Related Post: 5 Tips For Dealing With Your Inner Critic
How can we deal with self-doubt?
The thing is, you have the ability to rewrite your story. You get to decide who you want to be and what you do with your life. It comes down to three things: trusting yourself, adjusting your mindset, and taking baby steps.
01 / Trust In Yourself
The first step to dealing with self-doubt is to get better at this whole trust thing. Not trusting other people, but trusting yourself. You have to trust your intuition, your journey, your feelings, and the whole process that you’re going through right now.
You have to believe that you’ll end up where you need to be, even if you don’t know how it’s going to happen.
Of course you’re going to make mistakes in your life. We all know that’s inevitable at this point. But if we embrace the fact that making mistakes is part of the journey and an opportunity to learn more about ourselves, we won’t have to stay stuck in the same place forever. You don’t have to believe what your mind tells you about how you’re not good enough to make this change.
Trust that you will get to where you want to be. If you know within your core and intuition that this is what you need to do, you need to follow that.
02 / Adjust Your Mindset
Once you realize that you have all of the power within you, you can take responsibility for your life and your actions and do the scary things anyway. It all comes down to your mindset and whether you believe you are worthy of having the things in life that you want.
Earlier this year when I had the opportunity to leave my full-time job to start my coaching business, I was scared shitless. I had this vision in my mind, but I could never know if it was actually going to work or not. Every day I have my doubts about how I’m going to make this work, but deep within my soul I know that it is going to work. This is what helps me push through the self-doubt every single day. I know not to let those doubts cloud my mind.
I know that there are so many factors that come into having confidence within yourself, but honestly it’s all to do with you. Work on your mindset, prioritize your mental wellness, and find ways to be much, much kinder to yourself. Rewrite that story that tells you you’re not good enough.
Related Post: How To Detox Your Mindset And Reduce Negative Thoughts
03 / Take Baby Steps
I know you might not have the logistics around a change figured out or know exactly how you would do it, but you have to get started today. I’m not telling you to leave everything behind immediately. I’m telling you to take one step into the thing that scares you.
Just one small step today, whether that’s starting a blog, researching gyms, creating a plan for your future, or writing yourself an affirmation that you are good enough. Just one small step every single day is what it takes to get you past this fear and doubt.
“If fear is all that’s holding you back, it’s not a good enough reason.” – A quote by one of my wise and brilliant coaching clients
I don’t know how to say this without sounding cheesy, but you are good enough. If you’re not doing the things that scare you simply because of fear, it’s not a good enough excuse. I don’t want to see you sitting around, feeling stuck and unhappy because you’re scared of making that big leap into the thing that could truly bring you joy. I want you to start taking those baby steps and make it happen someday, rather than never.
What stories do you tell yourself? What holds you back from your dreams?