✨ Personal Growth🧠 Mindset

How To Stop Talking Yourself Out Of Things

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How many times have you come up with a brilliant idea for something only to psych yourself out of doing it? If you’re an overthinker or perfectionist, you probably talk yourself out of doing things on a regular basis.

Maybe you get all up in your head and convince yourself it’s no longer a good idea even though you were super excited about it before. Perhaps you pick apart your ideas and focus on what could go wrong instead of what could go right.

How To Get Out of Your Own Head

Though it’s important to think things through and weigh the pros and cons, overthinking is often a form of procrastination that leads to inaction. In order to find success, you have to take imperfect action instead of living in your head.

In this post, I’m sharing the common reasons why we talk ourselves out of things, how that can sabotage your success, and ways you can take action instead of letting your ego get in the way. 

Why do we talk ourselves out of things?


One of the biggest reasons you talk yourself out of things is because you think you don’t have the confidence to succeed. The keyword here is *think*. When you start to overanalyze your confidence levels, you pick apart the things about yourself that you’re not confident in. This only convinces you that you shouldn’t take action.

This also happens if you overthink things to death. When you go on tangents in your head until you’ve thought of all of the worst case scenarios, you start to fear the negative outcomes. But really, you’ve just created these negative outcomes in your own head.

Maybe you worry what people will think of you if you don’t succeed. This takes the focus back to the negative outcome again which creates more resistance towards a positive outcome. People are going to think what they think of you regardless. They’ll either judge you because you messed up or they’ll judge you because you never made an effort to change. 

“Overthinking – best known as creating problems that are never there.” 

David Sikhosana

What happens when we talk ourselves out of things?


When you continue this pattern of talking yourself out of things, you eventually make yourself believe that you’re not good enough to make changes in your life. You reignite that belief every time you decide to avoid or not do something.

You also hold yourself back from doing what could truly make a difference, not just in your own life but in the lives of others. Whatever ideas you have could truly make a difference in this world. Instead of focusing so much on yourself and how the outcome will affect you, think about how it could positively affect others.

After all of this overthinking and inaction, you later regret the things you never did and beat yourself up for not giving it a shot. We’ve all heard the phrase, “Better an oops than a what if” and it’s so true. If you are a logical and rational person, you will most likely be able to deal with whatever goes wrong – but you have to believe this about yourself.

How to stop talking yourself out of things


Don’t wait until you’re ready

There is power in planning, but planning often becomes a form of procrastination because you avoid doing the work. We plan because we want to feel prepared and ready, but there is really no such thing as feeling ready.

Instead, you have to build your confidence by doing little things every day that take you out of your comfort zone. Whatever the big thing is that you want to do, break it down into smaller steps and push aside any self-sabotaging thoughts come up. Don’t let perfectionism or the need to be ready give you a reason to procrastinate. 

Find accountability

You are so much more likely to accomplish things if you tell others what you’re trying to do. Even just saying your idea out loud to someone can help you recognize if it feels like something worth pursuing.

Whether it’s a friend, coach, or co-worker, share your idea with someone supportive and open-minded, not someone who might crush your idea to smithereens. The last thing you need is another person doubting you if you already doubt yourself. And even if this person never asks you about your idea again, sharing it can give you the push you need to get started on it.

Work on your mindset

Above all else, you need a strong mindset in order to get out of your comfort zone. A strong mindset gives you the confidence to take action and helps you become aware of the moments when you’re sabotaging yourself. Create a mindset routine like this one that helps you cultivate healthy thoughts about yourself and focus on what you want to accomplish.

Question: What’s one thing you can take action on today?


I hope this post has encouraged you to get out of your own head and believe in your own ideas. By doing things before you’re ready, working on your mindset, and holding yourself accountable, you’ll start to see big changes in your life.

Catherine Beard
Hey, I'm Catherine! I'm a mindset & self-care coach, blogger, and the creator of The Blissful Mind. I’m here to help you enjoy less burnout and overwhelm in your life so you have the time, energy, and confidence to pursue what matters.

3 Comments

  1. Wow, this is just what I needed to hear! Thank you so much for this. I want to start my own professional blog, but the task seems so daunting. This has motivated me to push myself and just do it!

  2. Hi Catherine,

    I came across your blog on Pinterest and I have been hooked since the first blog I read.

    This is such a timely and affirming post because I struggle with having so many brilliant ideas which end up just staying right there….in my head because I have a crippling fear of failure and wanting to do everything perfectly.

    You have shed so much light in this post and I realize that I am holding myself back from realizing my highest potential by fearing to take “imperfect action”, as you have succinctly captured it.

    Thank you

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