Hi, friend.
It’s been such a long time since I’ve published anything on this blog.
A good nine months to be exact.
My last post was about easing into 2023, and I guess I took that concept pretty literally.
It may seem as though I’ve disappeared from the internet altogether.
I haven’t shared much on the blog, my newsletter, or Instagram for a very long time.
There are so many reasons why I haven’t, yet it wasn’t as if there was a defining moment or specific event in my life that caused me to take a step back.
It was more like an accumulation of little things that built up over time.
The more I got out of the rhythm of writing, the easier it was to stay out of that rhythm.
Whenever I tried to write a post, some kind of roadblock would get in the way (whether literal or from my own mind), and I took it as a sign that it wasn’t meant to be shared.
Or I’d go to send a newsletter and another tragic world event would happen, and I felt like nothing that I was doing or saying was important enough in that moment.
Perhaps I felt as if people were relying on me to help them have a ‘blissful mind’, but I was struggling to have that myself.
Letting it go
I thought many times about just letting go of this whole thing. To stop paying for website hosting, to let the domain name expire, and to delete all of my old posts.
The question on my mind most often was,
‘If this feels so hard, does that mean it’s time to let go?’
But I never truly felt like that was the right choice.
I still had things to say, even if I couldn’t quite figure out what they were.
And yet, taking a break didn’t feel like an option for some reason.
Like I couldn’t just step away for a while and be honest about needing that time away.
Instead, I kept thinking, ‘No, I can push through. I can make this work.’
But it didn’t work. It didn’t work for years.
So I ended up taking an unintentional break, the kind where I didn’t tell anyone that I was doing it.
It just kind of happened.
In a way, it felt like I was giving up.
Now I’ve realized that I needed that space.
Giving myself time
I needed to truly give myself time to think through my ideas without rushing them.
I needed to embrace a slower pace rather than putting unnecessary pressure on myself to keep posting for the sake of staying ‘relevant’.
Creativity takes time. Writing takes time. Processing your thoughts and emotions takes time.
I needed time to think through my ideas and time to actually write them without being on some kind of rigid schedule.
It turns out that forcing deadlines upon myself doesn’t serve me, but working on my ideas slowly but surely does.
Though I’ve spent a lot of time feeling doubt, shame, and annoyance at myself, I think this break was meant to happen when it did.
The good thing is that it’s given me time to explore new things.
I’ve become fascinated with astrology and human design.
I’ve worked with a wonderful time management coach who helped me create a healthy, flexible schedule for myself.
I’ve been exploring my relationship with spirituality, which is something I’ve never thought much about before.
And I’ve been trying to find my personal style again after three years of wearing nothing but leggings and sweatshirts.
This space in between has given me room to come back to myself.
To listen to what I need and to take things at my own pace.
Creating space
I hope that in reading this, you can use this as a reminder to give yourself space when you need it.
If you feel like you’re forcing something or you just can’t give it your all anymore, it’s okay to take a step back.
It doesn’t mean you have to let go completely. Maybe you just need to spend some time away so you can come back with a fresh perspective.
And if there’s something you’ve had on pause for a while and you’re ready to come back to it now, we can do this together.
What’s next?
All of this is to say that I’m writing more, and I’m planning to publish more because I’ve given myself space to think clearly.
I’ve listened to myself and my inner guidance which is telling me this is the right thing to do at this time.
They say transformation isn’t about rearranging what already exists; it’s about burning things down and starting from the ground up.
But I’m not doing that.
I’m not getting rid of everything that I’ve created in the past.
What I am getting rid of is the pressure to feel like I’m some kind of expert who has all of life’s answers. All I can really share are the things that I’ve experienced and learned for myself.
And I’m no longer comparing myself to a previous version of who I was or to anyone else for that matter.
I’ve heard it said that the only pathway to your dream life is through your deepest insecurities, so that’s what I’m working on.
I want to truly listen to what’s within me. And to share openly and freely without putting so much pressure on myself.
I can’t promise anything in terms of consistency, but I do have quite a few thoughts lined up to share with you.
And honestly, there’s been one singular habit that I’ve adopted that has helped me with this return. I’ll share more with you on that in the next post.
If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, thank you for sticking around. And if you’re new here, you’ve come at a good time :)
For now, you can subscribe to my newsletter to get updates on new posts. Sign up here.
40 Responses
Well said and welcome back! I, and I’m sure many others, appreciate you! This post resonates with me in so many ways 🥰 Looking forward to more posts…at your leisure! Hugs to you.
Thank you so much, Karen! 💗
Dear Catherine,
I want to commend you for having the courage to share this struggle and to thank you for what you do on this blog. I know that it is reaching so many that need and enjoy what you have to offer. I know that finding your blog has helped me as I am learning to live my life without my husband who died unexpectedly 5 years ago. So, I hope you can understand that what you do is important. I’m saying this to encourage you and not to pressure you. You don’t need to be perfect or have all or any answers. I like how your topics make me think about life and moving forward every day. I’m trying to live my best life and your thoughts help me with that goal. You challenge me and inspire me and I’m so grateful for your gifts that you share with me.
Sincerely,
Margaret Welch
You are so kind, Margaret! Thank you for your words of encouragement!
Thank you for including us on your journey and what has taken place during the pause. I enjoy your writing work. As a fellow blogger , I understand questioning “why” our work matters or “why” spend the energy to plan, write, and post. Know that I really enjoy your newsletters. Thank you for the writing you share!
Thank you, Kassie! Sometimes I think we complicate the ‘why’ a bit too much and forget to let it be simple :)
Catherine,
There is a time for everything. I have let my writing slide as I have been focused on other things. For me, I am ok with that. Always do what gives you joy! For me, right now, it is my music that has introduced me to a host of new friends, and of course, my family! You are a great writer!
Thank you, Jan! Following the joy is the best plan.
Welcome back, your efforts to changing lives are highly appreciated. Staying mindful is a struggle for me. I am working on it very hard. I like your posts, thank you. Raja hasan
Thank you for reading, Raja!
Such great timing! I am coming off an unintentional break myself; I’m a runner and triathlete and this year has just been messy. I’ve been training and racing for the last three years pretty much non-stop. I realized over the last couple of months I really should have taken a more purposeful break, but didn’t. And, this summer, unintentionally, yet driven by events big and small, personal and not, I found myself in that break anyway. Even when I tried to restart, it just didn’t work. Sounds a lot like what you faced. I gave myself some formal time off and am now easing back into training, slowly, with a more clear goal in mind and I too and working to be flexible with it. We can do it together! Thank you for your unexpected but very timely post!
Ah totally, if you don’t take a break, the break will come for you anyway. So interesting how life works sometimes!
So happy you are back. I enjoy reading your writing. Your struggle resonates with me as I am doing a lot of thinking these days about how to create a healthy work life balance in my life.
You would think after 61 years I would have it sorted out by now, but I remind myself it is part of the journey. Will look forward to more of your thoughts as they come.
I guess we all imagine we’ll have it figured out by a certain age, but you’re right that it’s all part of the journey :)
Dear Catherine,
I appreciate your candidness about “you can’t promise any in terms of consistency” because a lot of times, this create expectation that can lead to pressures and disappointments. I lost my husband last year after a 4-year struggle with traumatic brain injury and as I go through your post, it resonates with me the feeling of letting go, giving oneself time and space and living and enjoying the moment. I also commend you for the encourage to speak up and being honest. It made you more human for me. Thanks for being an inspiration. You already made a difference to others!
Warm regards.
Rose S.
Thank you, Rose! Sending you love.
Hi Catherine, thanks for the update. I’m subscribed to several bloggers and to be honest, I probably appreciate your emails precisely because I don’t feel like there are so many that I have yet another task to keep up with them all. Each one feels a bit more precious than the others because they are less frequent. Does that make sense?
Please continue in whatever way works for you, but my vote is for an easy pace :)
Best, Laura
Yes I totally know what you mean! The people I love to follow tend to be a bit more sporadic and that does make it special when they do post. Thank you for the encouragement!
You articulate what so many of us are thinking, feeling and struggling with. Thank you for sharing your gift of writing.
Thank you, Melanie! 💖
Catherine,
This latest path that you have described is what I have characterized as time, distance and perspective (TDP). Actually I can’t take credit for it as it was shared with me from a close friend nearly 40 years ago. This TDP process for me can be just a few moments of pause or several months of concentrated thoughts, meditation or prayer. It’s the struggles that help us get through the most trying times and what you have learned during this experience will provide the will and patience to deal with whatever comes next. Thanks for sharing.
That’s a great way to think of it! Thanks for sharing the idea, Matt.
Beautifully written! Thank you for sharing your gifts with us, you are so talented, and I always look forward to what you share on your blog and social media.
I too have been going through a similar situation and after reading your blog post, I said to myself, that’s it, I too need to give myself time and create space. Get rid of what is not serving me in my midlife bloom, like pressure to be an expert and just share experiences and lessons learned.
Thank you.
Best,
Doris
Aww thank you, Doris! It seems like so many people are going through something similar and it really does help to talk/write about it.
Welcome back! I enjoy your writing no matter what your pace is.
Thanks, Amy!
Hi Catherine
Glad you’re back, I missed your posts. I’ve been taking a break as well and picked this month to start back on part 2 of my certification course. I feel like I’ve become lazy and spend way too much time on tic toc. Time management is a top priority on my mind these days.
Thank you for all you do.
Take care,
Pam
I spend too much time on TikTok as well! Sometimes it’s a good escape and other times it’s a major timesuck.
Hello :and welcome back.I was so surprised—and glad you are okay.We all have so many things to deal with–so hand in and take good care of yourself. Be Safe.. LOVE—–Bessie
Thank you, Bessie!
IHello Catherine
I have been in that same situation . Years ago when married had verbal violence . Once I decided to get away and got divorced. Since then I have giving myself tbat space that needed for so many years. Now I”m free y feel like a new women . I have identify myself with you . Thank you so much for your words . Welcome back I really miss your blogs . It has helped me very much.
I’m so glad to hear you don’t have that weighing you down anymore, Carrol!
Welcome back!
Thank you, Jawaher!
It takes a lot of courage in this fast-paced world to take a step back and pause from all that is flying around our ears. And it takes a lot of courage again to come back after that break and pick up the threads from where you left them hanging in the air. I believe that life should be lived at one’s own pace. That is a brave thing to do – and might be scary – but it is so rewarding.
Welcome back, Catherine! And thanks for being so honest about your emotions. You encourage and inspire many people without them expecting you to have an answer to all the questions. Cheers to you!
Thank you for the kind words, Britta! It helps to know you don’t expect me to have all of the answers haha
Welcome back! I really enjoyed reading you and was really excited to see you pop into my feeds again. Please don’t put undue pressure on yourself!
Thank you, Alex! Going to take it one step at a time :)
Dear Catherine,
I only very recently stumbled upon your website, and I must say, I’ve been captivated. In a short time, I’ve found myself immersed in nearly all of your posts. The genuineness and depth with which you write is truly rare to find. It’s like each word is a heartbeat, a pulsating rhythm of authenticity that reaches out and touches the soul of every reader.
It’s hard to truly convey how special and unique your content is. Your words have been like a guiding light, showing many of us the path to being the best versions of ourselves. The insights, the raw honesty, the courage to lay bare your vulnerabilities—it’s all incredibly inspiring.
Even in your absence, the impact you’ve made has continued to resonate. You might not always feel it, but you have a beautiful gift of touching lives in ways you can’t even imagine.
It fills me with joy to see you back. Every journey has its ebbs and flows, its times of silence and introspection. May your writings continue to be a source of light for all of us. And remember, it’s not about the consistency or frequency—it’s about the heart and soul you pour into every piece.
You are, without a doubt, one of the very best out there. Wishing you all the best in this renewed journey.
Wow this is so sweet. Thank you, Maartin! If anything, I think YOU have the gift for writing and encouraging others!