Do you ever feel like you’re completely overwhelmed with things to do, yet you’re still not doing enough? Maybe you thought you’d be further ahead in life than you are right now, or maybe you have this list in the back of your head of things you *should* be doing.
No matter what you do, it doesn’t quite seem to be enough. Seeing other people’s successes might trigger this feeling of inadequacy. Setting unrealistic expectations for yourself can also make you think that nothing is ever quite good enough.
Of course, there’s always room for improvement in our lives, but it feels like a never-ending rat race when you’re constantly chasing the next thing. It’s overwhelming to feel like you need to do everything.
And when you start to feel like you’re not doing enough, it’s easy to overwhelm yourself even more. Feeling like you should or could be doing more only adds more stress onto your already heavy shoulders.
In this post, I’m sharing how I’ve been dealing with this feeling of not doing enough. You’ll also find some practical tips to counter this fear if you’ve been feeling the same way.
What causes the fear of not doing enough?
Though I’m doing plenty, there’s always more I think I could or should be doing because of the pressure to be busy from society. This pressure can manifest from the internal expectations you set for yourself, as well as those from the outside world, like work, relationships, etc.
Family members and friends who have good intentions might say things like, “You should be doing this” or “I saw this person doing this, you should try it too.”
Maybe you feel like you’re not getting any recognition for what you’re doing at work, so you start to think you’re doing something wrong or simply not doing enough. That pressure only adds to the weight of your to-do list.
Something I’ve learned is that I often overwhelm myself more than anything else. A simple check-in helps when I feel overwhelmed. I ask myself, “Am I the one causing this extra stress?” If the answer is yes, I take ownership of the issue and try to take things off my to-do list. If it’s caused by someone else, I ask myself, “How can I set better boundaries with this person or communicate my needs better?”
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Another reason for feeling inadequate is the comparison game. I often feel like I’m not doing enough because I compare myself to other people. In reality, whatever I see from other people is a highlight reel, a curated version that they want me to see. That’s not necessarily bad because creating (even if it’s sharing your mundane daily life) is an art. Making life seem more interesting is an art.
But I realize that I don’t often find myself comparing my life to my close friends and family. It’s mostly people on the internet who I don’t know. I think this is because I see my friends’ successes, but I also know their struggles.
When I find myself in the comparison trap, I remember that I’m not seeing the full picture of someone’s life. Whatever they’re doing does not affect how well I’m doing. In reality, they’re probably comparing themselves to someone else too.
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Whatever you’re doing is enough. There is nothing more you have to add to your to-do list. Focus less on what you ‘should’ be doing and focus more on what you ‘need’ to be doing. You already know what that is deep down.
Not feeling good enough can come from perfectionism, even from the most mundane of things. After I posted a quote on Instagram the other day, I felt like it wasn’t any good. It was literally just a quote on a social media platform. It doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, but I felt like there was something better I could have posted. Something more meaningful. Something more impactful.
I have to remind myself that even the smallest thing can be meaningful. Having someone comment and say “I needed this reminder today” is enough. The simple act of me sharing something is enough.
Sometimes I have to take a step back and remember that every little step is part of something bigger. Every little step we take contributes to our growth, or to our decline.
In the book, The Power of Focus, the authors talk about how everything in life is built on tiny little actions. Good friendships flourish from small efforts – sending a text, sharing a meme, or meeting up for coffee. Over time, these little things build a closer relationship. Other relationships dwindle because you stop texting, stop checking in, or get into an argument and don’t attempt to smooth it over.
Each positive action you take is a building block. The small things you’re doing – no matter how perfect or imperfect they are – actually are worthwhile. Whatever you’re doing is enough.
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3 Tips For When You Feel Behind
When you find yourself thinking “I’m not doing enough”, here are a few things that can help:
1. Stop making your to-do list so long. Do fewer things with intention.
When you’re working on a bunch of things at once, you might feel like you’re making progress, but divided attention makes it difficult to actually get ahead. Progress requires dedicated focus.
Stop overwhelming yourself and do fewer things extraordinarily well. Maybe you’re thinking, ‘But there’s so much I could do…how do I know what to focus on?’ You know what you need to do deep down. You know what you could do, but what do you need to do? Ask yourself this question often.
There’s always something more that could be done, but it’s not always necessary. Focus on what’s necessary. Focus on what fits into the vision you have for your life, business, career, family, and health.
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2. Set realistic boundaries and expectations for yourself.
You cannot do everything. Be realistic with the amount of time and energy you have to dedicate to things. Whatever you’re doing is already enough.
If you feel like you’re behind, think of what you’ve already accomplished in the past year. Think of how you’ve changed and grown over the past five years.
Stop comparing your life to everyone else’s and set expectations you know that you can achieve, regardless of what other people think.
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3. Track where your time goes.
If you often get to the end of the week and wonder whether you’ve accomplished anything, keep a log of what you do on a daily basis. I tracked my time for a week and realized that I was spending a lot of time on things that weren’t even important to me.
Evaluate your time and see where your efforts are going. You’re going to a) realize you’re doing more than you think and/or b) realize you’re spending your time in the wrong ways. If you think you’re spending it in the wrong ways, mindfully plan your schedule using time blocks based on your top priorities.
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Think of one thing you’ve been putting consistent effort into lately. How does this add up to something bigger? If you feel like sharing, leave a comment with your answer below!
If you found this post helpful, bookmark or pin it for later so you can revisit it whenever you start to fear that you’re not doing enough.